Find Your Tribe.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Sarah Waldin

THIS one is coming up a lot at the moment ... well it has done for years but I think I may be listening to it more these days. 

I see how much it can make a difference to every single one of us and our existence on the planet we share with so many others, all of whom are driven by the same human need to belong somewhere. 

The whole idea that we belong with others of our "kind" (a loose term used to denote likemindedness or other obvious and less obvious ways to group ourselves) does a great deal to make our time here more bearable. 

If we can hold on to the idea that we are not alone, that someone, somewhere 'fits' with us, then there are all sorts of human experiences we can find the strength and fortitude to endure. I'm not referring to coupledom (which can start out feeling like a tribe of sorts has been found and end up feeling like we are living with the enemy) but to a broader idea of the many different places we belong in the societies where we live. 

When I share the idea that we, all of us, need to find our tribe, I am suggesting that if you don't feel you belong anywhere right now then please please please keep looking. Keep opening yourself to others out there, notice the changes that have occurred in your life and find the people for whom those changes have occurred too. 

Perhaps as your life has progressed you have become a parent of a boy, a parent of a girl (or a mother/father of the same), a single parent, a single man/woman, a pensioner, a Mum with high school children, a daughter of aging parents, a widow/widower, a father of teenage girls/boys, a bus driver, a dominatrix, a grand-parent, a church-goer, a migrant, a traveller, a fan of comic books, a cancer survivor, a health enthusiast ... and I could go on.

What are the different roles you have in your life now. That is where you will find your tribe.

You have something in common with these people: you may not like them all but they belong to one of the many tribes you belong to also.

No matter how much of a misfit you have come to believe you are, there is someone out there who feels like you do. Then THAT person, and others like him/her, is your tribe. 

If I had a coin for every time I sat opposite someone who was absolutely certain that what they were experiencing was unique, I would be wealthy. Each time I explain that, in my experience, despite appearances we are all so very much alike in our certainty that we are the only ones. 

It is the quality of the relationships we allow to grow with others that makes the difference to our time here. 

And so I encourage you ... to find your tribe(s) and allow your similarities to rise above your differences so that you too can feel what it is to belong somewhere, with someone(s) who feel just like you. 

Sarah xx


Article originally appeared on Sarah Waldin: psychotherapist, counsellor, mind-set facilitator (
See website for complete article licensing information.