« Hey Mom/Mum, you are doing a GREAT job! | It Got Worse, and Then ... »
Monday
Jan052015

You are Enough.

You are enough for your children!

I know there are so many times when you don't think you are ... but the fact that you wonder about this shows that you do get it. When you are able to sit with the anxiety of being in the position of parent AND sit with yourself, you absolutely understand what it takes to be the kind of loving parent you so badly want to be.

You are already there!!!  I know it doesn't feel like - I have days and days like that too - we all do - honestly, we ALL do.

Just yesterday I was at a friend's house: she has three girls and she was beside herself with fear and pain that her two of her girls don't seem to get along. It was tearing her up inside and she was feeling like it was her fault, that she was doing something wrong, that she had spawned nasty little minxes ;-)

We ALL feel that way about our children, and yes, all we can really offer them is a safe place at home where they feel loved and accepted - all we can offer them is a base to come back to when they have been out in the challenging world trying to work out where they belong...

Learning to sit with the helplessness and (sometimes) hopelessness of the experience IS what parenting is all about. 

My son is going to high school next year and he had his final day at primary school a few weeks ago. I realised then that we have to let them grow and let them go ... that is the terribly, terrifying vulnerability of parenting them at all ages.

We have been cut wide open, and daily we are served reminders of how incredibly raw and exposed we are in our place of loving these kids. It reminds me not to judge anyone who finds it just too hard to love - their children, partners, parents, animals etc etc. In its truest form, it is raw, vulnerable, exposed, terrifying - and when we can approach acknowledging that, we are able to feel the exquisiteness of real, honest, helpless, open-wounded bliss.

Your children don't need fixing. They need love. They don't need someone else, they need you.
BE with your SELF, so you can BE there with your children. 

Sarah xx

 

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

References (1)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Response: essay rush
    Yes, parents are enough of us, we don’t need anything unless our parents with us. We need their love and attention the most. For me, my parents are my life and I don’t know what will I do if they are not with me so I try my best to be their well child.

Reader Comments (3)

A lovely and timely reminder for the new year!

January 5, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I hope you are right . I will hang your words on my walls : Children don't need fixing . That is a strong thought . Thank you . Hugs from France

January 6, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterilka

Wow - perfect timing for me to read this. I needed
To hear that - this post could have been about me. Xx

January 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>