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Who's got your back?

She felt sad and disappointed at what appeared to be a lack of honesty in the world around her.

She wished that people would simply come out and say what they mean. She wished they would tell her when she had hurt their feelings, or check with her for the true meaning of what she'd said rather than assuming they knew. She felt that she was learning the ropes, stumbling blindly through social situations, trying things out - often blundering as she went. It seemed that everyone else knew how to do the social relationships thing, whereas somehow she had missed out on that very important gene. 

She can remember thinking that if dishonesty and judgement of others was the way to make it all work, then she was much better off without it.

Thankfully, she found a person who was willing to step closer to the fire, risk getting burned by her response - because he believes in honesty in friendship too.  

He gently holds up the mirror and says "this is how it looks from out here - is that what you are hoping to project?". 

Sometimes her answer is "yes I can live with that" and sometimes its "ummm, wow, no that was not my intention at all". 

Having him around has taught her to be more honest, more brave, less concerned with the impression she is making.  He helps her focus on the values she holds and to match her behaviour to those values. As a result she feels more authentic and so grateful to have found him. Life is no longer such a minefield. She feels supported and less fearful because it feels like he has her back.

Who is that person in your life? And for whom do you play that role?

sarah xx

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