I am amazed and filled by the clarity and simplicity of the writing, vulnerability and insight on the http://www.scarymommy.com blog. The latest offering of http://www.scarymommy.com/learning-from-teens/ is a reminder to all of us, not just those with teens, that we need to look at our children as people, individuals - with their own ideas, desires, wants, needs, likes, inspirations, tendancies and trends - and to allow them the space to express those.
Setting aside our own vulnerabilities and fears, our own need to 'fit in' or fit the mould will set us all free - the children AND us mixed-up and mis-guided adults. The idea that we raise our children to fit some socially acceptable grouping or list of attributes and behaviours is a spirit-crushing and creativity debilitating assumption about their inability to work things out for themselves over time with our guidance (not direction).
We need to back our kids and ourselves. We need to trust the process of becoming. We all went through it. We are doing the best we can if we remember to keep ourselves awake and conscious. We will achieve more for our children by focussing on teaching them to stay awake on the journey of life - and to trust themselves and their learnings.