« Expectations are based on assumptions.

When someone "gets" you.

There have been two occasions in the past week when I had the feeling that another person present in my life "got" me. What I mean is that I felt that they "saw" me or even "knew" me - but in a profound and significant way.   I started thinking about how that happens and how to replicate it in an authentic way so that the gift I received simply by being "got" is something I can give to others.

Why is this so hard to do and why does it not happen more often? Perhaps it is because it's so rare that someone listens to us - I mean really listens to us, to the things we are not saying, to the meaning behind the words we are using, to our cry for help or our indecision, our hopes and dreams and search for meaning. I also think it's about someone listening in that way more than once or twice with the same person.  Those who are able to do it have listened and watched for signs over time - they have combined the information they have collected, then (in my case) fed it back to me as a comment, a story, an offering, a drawing - all gifts.

More than that though: they took themselves out of the equation for a moment and chose to see only me (without themselves in the picture). Of course they are involved in the connection and exchange because they are saying "this is how I see you" - but they are doing it in such a way and with such clarity that it teaches me something too.

honest, clear, clean, authentic, real listening is rare... try it!


sarah x

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