Today I observed a woman apologise for being "a typical woman, emotional". She was saying sorry for feeling, sorry for showing you that I feel, sorry for being a cliche, sorry for taking up space with my emotions.
She grew up in, and works in a male-dominated world where being a woman is something she has learnt to apologise for. The amazing thing is that she was apologising to a group of women.
What happened next was beautiful and I wish it for everyone girl and woman on this planet...
... those women said "me too".
They said "emotional like a woman, how divine/amazing/cool", then they thanked her for being real.
Those badass, brave, females grinned and celebrated simply being with a woman who was feeling and sharing her feelings - they held the space without saving her or turning away, they stayed with her in her moment while noticing how it corresponded with their own experiences.
How many times have you heard or said these words (or something similar)? How many times have you used them to judge someone else or yourself? What is the intent behind them? Are they similar to "run like a girl"? How often are they used with negative meaning? Have you EVER heard them used with a positive meaning attached?
There is a lot of room for change on this one for all of us.
Men aren't allowed emotions (apparently)because that would make them like a woman; women are allowed emotions but must be ashamed of having them. It's all so very archaic!
So how do we get women to stop apologising for feeling?
- Raise our girls to know it's OK to feel.
- Raise our boys to know it's OK to feel.
- Stop pretending men don't feel and let them have their feelings.
- Let women have their feelings without judging them as "emotional" - as if that is something to be ashamed of.
It will set us all free.